luinquesse:

Carefully balancing the tray on one hand, Shae took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

“Come in. Well, this is a surprise. What brings the Inquisitor into my humble quarters.”Dorian looked up from the book he had been reading.

Shae looked around the room. Humble as it may be, Dorian had made his best effort for decorating the room. A fireplace warmed the room, with two comfortable chairs in front of it. There was a small desk where Dorian was sitting. A dresser with a mirror and a rather plush looking bed. The walls were covered with tapestries, probably to ward off the cold. And there were piles of books scattered everywhere.

“Well?” Dorian inquired again.

“Ah, I…  just realized I’ve never seen this part of the hold before.”

“I trust you’re not here just for the scenic tour? Though, I might just be the main attraction.”

“I thought I could take you up on your offer. Unless you’re busy.”

“My offer being?”

“To join you, sometime. Well, I think you meant drinking, but I thought I could bring dinner instead?” Shae lifted up the tray he was holding, looking a little uncertain.

“Marvellous. Come, we’ll use one of the chairs by the fireplace.”

—

Dorian looked at the content of the meal Shae had gathered on the tray. “Who did you have to bribe for all of this? I’ve seen mostly just stews and porridge since we came here. Or maybe the cook has been holding out on me.”

“I think she likes me.” Shae confessed with a smile. “I told her I wanted to get my own food from the kitchen and not be served like some noble, cooped up in a tower.”

“And she took it well, I take it?”

“You should have seen her face.” Shae laughed, “But yes, I think she liked me more after. I did help her set up some frosting spells in the cellar too, to make the meats spoil slower. So now she lets me pick basically anything from the pantry, unless it’s something she really needs.”

“Apparently, I need to have you bringing me dinner more often.”

Shae let out a small laugh under his breath and started gathering food onto his plate.

Shae had filled out the tray with several different foods he found enjoyable. He had picked out a generous piece of smoked freshwater trout, couple of bread rolls from earlier this morning, and brown gravy for dipping the bread. There was also a plate filled with a selection of small turnover pastries with rich, buttery dough. Some were filled with cheese, egg and chives, while others had either elderberry or cloudberry compote in them. Shae had also grabbed a small jar of roasted cashew nuts and couple of apples which he had peeled and sliced.

They ate and talked about this and that, mostly light subjects. How Sera had tied tiny bells into all the horses manes, and Dennet had been sure the stables were haunted. Dorian told he had just been reading a book about the only human ever accepted into the Legion of the Dead. He would like to visit Orzammar some day. The food in there was said to be horrendous, but the architecture was magnificent.

—

“Did I ever thank you for letting Alexius live?” Dorian asked while poking at the pastries, trying to figure out which one had fruit in them.

“You did. You also said you’ve been to see him?”

“Ah, I did, didn’t I. Well, I just wanted to say it again. You had every opportunity to kill him, and yet you didn’t. I always found that rather peculiar.”

“His motives were never bad, just… the way he went about them was. After all, what he did was for Felix.” Shae picked out the pastry on the far side of the plate and set it in front of Dorian.

Dorian picked up the pastry, breaking it in half to reveal the cloudberry filling. Smiling, he said: “Serving Corypheus and turning people into red lyrium mines is not a reason enough? He also did try to kill you.”

Shae looked thoughtful for a while. “Well, the Alexius in our timeline didn’t. The one in the future did. I don’t think they’re the same. He didn’t know who he was dealing with, who the Elder One really was. He just wanted to save his son. Not that it excuses the things he did, but I don’t think he deserved to die for it.”

“He seemed more like his old self last time I visited him. More like the man I knew in Asariel. He always loved his research. And who knows, maybe he’ll find something useful.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve time magic. Or any other potentially world breaking things.” Shae paused. “Do you think it was wise for me to let him continue his research? What if he does find something dangerous? Think he would do anything… drastic?”

“Good thing your spymaster has him well guarded. I don’t think he can even take a piss without her knowing. Besides, he seemed content. Not happy, it’s too soon for that. But like a man who’s realized his fate. I think losing Felix made him give up on any plans he might have had.” Dorian sighed, slouching a little in his chair. “Are there any sweet pastries left?”

“I think we finished them all.”

“Pity. I could have done with one more.”

“We can always get more from the kitchen if you want.”

“My my, Inquisitor! Don’t you think people would wonder if they saw you sneaking around the corridors at this hour.”

“Let them. Besides, I don’t have to sneak. Why would I have to sneak?”

“No matter. I think I’m done, actually. But thank you for offering.”

Shae hesitated a little. “Since we’re done, I guess I should go.”

“You have a late night meeting with someone?” Dorian said, grinning a little. “Or just aimless wandering around the hold, perhaps?”

“What? No. Why do you say that?”

“The library has windows you know. Sometimes, late in the night, I’ve seen you wandering on the battlements. At some point, you just stopped and sat down for a long while. What were you doing?”

“Nothing, really. I sometimes do that, when I can’t sleep. I also talk with Cole. He likes to sit with me on the battlements.”

“Ah, that explains it. I think you were the only one who could see him there.”

“Oh.”

“So stay here and we can talk more. You’re more charming company than the doom and gloom dwarves in there.” Dorian gestured at the book he had abandoned earlier.

“I’d like that.”

daihell:

I need more ace content in the DA fandom, so here ya go, some Sen and Dorian talking about their relationship 

---

Sen enjoyed spending his evenings like this, he and Dorian together, both of them sitting on the couch before the fire reading their own books. It was a casual intimacy that he treasured, feeling comfortable enough that the silence didn’t bother them. Well, usually they were both reading. Right now Sen was too distracted, fidgeting and unable to focus on the page before him. Dorian had to have noticed by now but said nothing. Sen was never good at handling awkwardness, however, and he eventually had to speak.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Inquisitor, unless there’s something you haven’t told me, we’re just sitting on a couch. I’m not even sure Mother Giselle could object if she walked in right now. Unless of course you’re reading a book I recommended, of course.” There was a flippancy in his words that Sen didn’t quite buy and he felt guilty. He hadn’t meant it to sound quite so ominous.

“No, I mean,” Sen started again, fiddling restlessly with the end of his long braid. “It’s just, it’s obvious I feel differently than most when it comes to how I’m interested in men. I just experience it differently and I want to make sure you understand that.”

“Still being awfully vague, amatus,” Dorian said, finally glancing at him, eyebrow raised.

“I’ve tried to talk about what I feel, or maybe how I feel, or what I don’t feel? I don’t know,” Sen tried again, searching desperately for the right words. It was difficult when he lacked any other experiences than his own. He wasn’t completely sure how to describe it. “One partner, he told me it wasn’t real. He told me I was just sick or that there was something wrong with me. He thought I could be fixed, that perhaps if I slept around enough I’d get used to it, learn to like it.”

“That sounds like nonsense, even to me,” Dorian said, snapping his book shut and turning to face Sen.

“Another, well,” Sen continued, unable to really look at Dorian. “He told me I must not really be interested in men. Whatever attraction I felt couldn’t be real unless I felt the same way he did, unless I wanted sex as well. I must not really be attracted to him or want him. He said any relationship I would ever have would always be lacking.”

“What makes anyone think you’re the one who could possibly be lacking something?” Dorian demanded, making Sen finally look up at him, surprised by the anger in his voice.

“Because I don’t want something everyone else seems to?” Sen said tentatively, unsure what answer Dorian was looking for.

“‘Everyone’ is a bit of a stretch,” Dorian said with a dismissive gesture. “But regardless, to prove my point, how is it you feel about me then? About us?”

“You’re– amazing,” he began earnestly. “You’re brilliant and so strong and you cast magic like it’s art, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. And you seem confident even when you’re not, which says more about your bravery than anything. You’re handsome too, sometimes I look at you and I forget to breathe– and I’m rambling and you’re teasing me, aren’t you? There are easier ways to get me to compliment you,” Sen said, sighing at Dorian’s grin.

“Yes, well, I like to get creative. But back to my point; I’m perfectly satisfied with our current arrangement. Nothing has ever felt lacking, in you or in what we have. You’re the one insisting on trying out a proper relationship, remember? This is already more than I was expecting. And your feelings are obviously genuine. Perhaps too obvious, quite frankly. I’m certain the entire inner circle is aware of our relationship. Just the other day I heard Varric starting a bet on how long it will take you to ask me out. Won’t he be surprised to learn I already made the first move?”

“I’m scared,” Sen said after a moment and he felt Dorian’s hand seek his out, twining their fingers together. “I’ve long since realized that this is all I’m ever going to be, but I’m so afraid it won’t ever be enough. I look at you and, more than anything, I want you to be happy, but maybe I’m the one standing in the way of that. Maybe I’m just not meant to be in any sort of relationship. I’ve seen what it’s like, I’ve watched people slowly give up on me when they realize I can’t change no matter how much I want to. I’ve hurt so many people and if this isn’t enough, if you’re hoping I’ll change– I just don’t want you to go through that hurt, not if I can help it. I’d give you everything if I could, and I’m so sorry that I have so little to offer.”

“That’s enough of that,” Dorian said, taking Sen by surprise by swinging around to straddle his lap, gently taking his face in his hands despite the force of his words. “I’d argue they weren’t the ones hurt by all of this. You’ve been nothing but honest. They were the ones who made you doubt yourself and I find I have a with a sudden urge to set them on fire.”

“That’s really not necessary,” Sen said with a laugh he didn’t quite feel.

“Fine, but I’m perfectly capable of deciding what does and doesn’t make me happy and I’ll thank you not to try to decide for me.” Dorian sighed and continued on more soberly, hand caressing his cheek up to his horn and back. “I already told you I have no idea how to do any of this, no examples to turn to when I don’t know where to step next. I don’t have any answers, but right now, what I do know is that you make me happy. I don’t know what the future has in store, for us or anyone, but I do know one thing; I never want you to change.”

“But what if I can’t truly love someone the way I am right now?”

“That’s rubbish if I’ve ever heard it,” Dorian said, kissing him gently. “You’re the most caring person I know.”

Sen finally brought his arms up to wrap tightly around Dorian, holding him close, burying his face in his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if he was fully convinced or not, but he trusted Dorian. One way or another they could work things out.

“Would you tell me more about how you feel?” Dorian asked after a brief silence simply holding each other.

“What’s wrong, are you looking for more compliments?” Sen replied with a little laugh. “But yes, of course I don’t mind. Did you have something you wanted to ask?”

“I’m always eager to learn more about you,” Dorian said, placing a kiss to his forehead. “Besides, some of what you’ve said about how you experience attraction sound rather familiar. Perhaps not everything, but I’d like to know more. Perhaps you’re not as alone as you think.”

“How do you always know just what to say?” Sen said, voice partially muffled as he buried his face in Dorian’s neck, grinning and hoping his blush wasn’t too obvious. He still couldn’t help but feel apprehensive, but right now Dorian was happy, and so was he, and that was all that really mattered.